In the weeks since my last blog update, I’ve been focusing my spare time largely on moving the needle on the career development gauge. For a good while now, I’ve wrestled with achieving a productivite state due to the overwhelming analysis my brain starts automatically focusing on—false task dependencies and a constant guilt-driven shift in prioritization. Taking the weekend to decompress and realign, I spent almost the entirety of the Labor Day holiday in front of my computer screen, working on the landing page to compliment the business card design I finalized earlier in the month. Though not covered as extensively in my public blog as it has in my personal DayOne journal, the pressures and anxieties over what I’m currently doing and where I’m going professionally (and the financial corollaries) have really been bearing down on me lately. The disparity between the life I’m living and the one I want to be has grown large enough to the point where idle planning and preparation have become an unafforadble luxury. The lack of a degree and the massive debt it carries on its price tag are limiting enough, and continuing to get older without a portfolio to compensate isn’t achieving anything. I suppose in a way I’ve been waiting for some sort of “permission” in lieu of a degree to start trying to get paid to do what I want to do instead of doing things I can be paid to do. Ironically, it’s something I can admit to having already obtained, just haven’t allowed myself to truly believe; my former boss tells me he still gets compliments on his website I redid for him, and feedback on the photos I’ve shot of the Airbnb units at work from the bosses’ industry network have all been highly positive as well.
Revisiting my personal reflections on a piece from Art of Manliness on the concept of thumos for (re)inspiration, I dediced to make a milestone out of the holiday and enact an overhaul in my approach to all areas of my life. I’ve got the momentum going on the personal marketing materials, and I have an actionable plan for content generation and portfolio building, it’s all of matter of making the time and enacting the requisite willpower to drive these items to completion.
Feels like there’s more to write here, but now is not yet the time. For now, back to work.