I’d like to say that life’s “been keeping me pretty busy”, which while it admittedly has, is also a total copout as to why I haven’t been keeping up on my writing. Truth of the matter is, I’ve still been allowing myself to fall victim to a pretty lame behavioral cycle where I end up contemplating on all the things that I have/want to do that the pressure of it all just makes not doing anything at all very easy to do. As I’ve acknowledged before, it’s something that I don’t have the luxury of doing. Not just in regard to my goal timeline, but more recently, also because of present circumstances. There’s a lot of upgrading that I still need to do with myself, but things have also started to come across my plate that demand that I be in top form in order to successfully carry them out.
Last week, my car broke down on me, causing me to have to shell out a few hundred dollars for a new battery and alternator not just the week before rent is due, but also at the end of the calendar year when a lot of my service subscriptions come up for renewal. One that lined up perfectly with this ill-timed misfortune was my hosting plan. Since my current finances can’t afford the $120 renewal, I migrated all of my entries from my self-hosted WordPress installation and merged them with all of the old entries I left on my abandoned WordPress.com hosted blog. Though I’ve toggled the visibility to all of them to private so that they’re part of the “archive” I put a lot of my pre-existing entries on the previously self-hosted blog, there’s a certain personal sense of “reintegration” that I’ve gotten from breaking down the separation between the logs of my past.
Furthermore, I see the loss of the self-hosted WordPress install as a good thing. Sure, I won’t have my avenue for tinkering with site design and development, but I’m also forced to focus on organizing all of the things I have written and coming up with new content. I’ve been actively trying to develop marketable talents in different areas because I have a burning desire to be able to do more creatively, but in the process I’ve been neglecting the thing that I’m most “naturally” talented at. Time to start making as strong an effort at playing my strengths as I’ve been putting towards developing new ones. There’s a lot of work still to be done, and now I’m at the point where success is contingent on me realizing the best version of myself.